ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
