JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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