Im at strip club and am horny
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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