I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
