There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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