i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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