You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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