I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize