We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how can u be prego again
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
