she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
