yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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