mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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