she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
