Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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