haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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