Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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