On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
