I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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