Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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