So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
