oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
