my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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