Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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