Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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