I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
