now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize