He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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