ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
