dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
