Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
