ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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