Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
