Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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