you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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