Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
