So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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