The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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