Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
