I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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