we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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