Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
