would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
