Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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