did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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