I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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