I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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