How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
