awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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