Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
