Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
