So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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