In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
