so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
