You can't motorboat a personality
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
