i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
