do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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