are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
