he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
